Something Wicked This Way Comes. Invitations.

OH NOES! (Is that make up making those bags under my eyes? WHO KNOWS?)


My favourite party of the year approaches.

I have three boxes worth of hallowe’en junk decorations and they are brought down from the shed every year with the same reverence as our Christmas Decorations. Hallowe’en has become a traditional party at our home since Tom first started school.

I haven’t started planning this year’s bash yet, but thought I might write a post on the parties gone by and hopefully kick start some ideas for this year.

So let’s start with the Invitations.

In 2008 we made invitations which appeared to be an old letter written 100 years ago. Our address was printed in the top left hand corner of the page – and the invitation was written as a plea from me for help for my son, Oliver. It read:

Date – 1st November 1908

Dear Friend

I write to you to ask for your help. My son, Oliver, has been acting strangely since his birthday in August. He cannot sleep, he hates garlic, he is very pale and his teeth have become very pointed.

I fear that since his eighth birthday he has become…A VAMPIRE! I am sure that he will roam for the next one hundred years, and ask that you answer this call from the past to save him!

I ask you to come to my home to help us.

The Date – 1st November 2008

Time – 5 O’clock to 7 O’Clock

Please wear fancy dress, this may prevent Oliver from sucking your blood!

I humbly ask you to tell me if you can attend either by:

Telegram – mobile number

Telephone – landline

or by tearing off the bottom of this letter and returning by carrier pigeon.

I beg you for your help

Lady Party Spanner (Scared)


Tear off strip

Carrier pigeon

I _________________ will be able  to come to save Oliver from a fate worse than death

We soaked the invitations in cold coffee (should have been tea)

That's going to hum something awful. You should have used tea. Just Sayin

And then, I made the boys use a hairdryer to dry the invitations. HA HA HA! I have no idea what the hell was running through my head at this point. Why I didn’t just leave them hanging around until they just dried out, I do not know.

*evil laugh*

*even bigger evil laugh*

We were then left with some beautiful, if slightly caffeine-y ,old letters

Suitably crumpled

When they were dry *snort*, I rolled the letters into scrolls and sealed them with red sealing wax.

In 2009, I produced a newspaper page as an invitation.

The title was The Daily Spook and the page was set up as Classified Advertisements. Like this:


We are being haunted by a very naughty spirit. It leaves lights on in rooms, it leaves taps running in the bathroom, I find dirty clothes in piles on the landing floor.

PLEASE HELP ME! If you think you can get to the bottom of our haunting please come to <address> on <date> at<time> Please wear fancy dress, this might scare the ghost into behaving itself! Please reply via text <mobile> or direct to the Daily Spook offices <landline> They will pass your messages onto us. All ghostbusters to be collected at <time> by which time I sincerely hope the house will be clean and tidy and free of ghosts.

I filled the rest of the page up with silly adverts such as:


1 vacuum cleaner. The salesman told me I could fly through the cleaning, but the cord was too short. I’m going back to the broomstick.

Reply to: Ms W. Itch



Professional and experienced skeleton has vacancies for music lessons in trom-BONE

Reply to PO Box B0N35

And arranged (by amazing use of the tab key and quite a lot of swearing, backspacing and general pissiness) until I had a page that looked like a section of adverts.

Yes, yes, they may be old jokes, but only to old ears.

Last year we sent out invitations in text speak. Green letters on a black background which warned party comers of an evil computer that had imprisoned us in a Matrix type web.

I had an amazing response via text – lots of parents got right into the swing of the invite and responded in text speak and…


So this year…Well, I’m catering for 14 year olds and 11/12 year olds. I think I can let the cute stuff pass us by now and get into the real ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE stuff. Or maybe the SERIAL KILLER WITH SCARY KENWOOD CHEF DEVICES.

Or maybe I’ll just point them towards the huge and depressing debts they’ll rack up at university?

(little bit of politics)


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Posted on 09/22/2011, in Party Planner and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I, once again, bow down to your superior party making ability!

    This is the first year we’ll be in a house and will probably at least take Adam trick or treating. I have no idea what to dress him in!

    Old sheet with eyes cut out? Is that still okay?!?!?

  2. You cld pretend to be yvette fielding asking for ‘most haunted’ extras…..brilliant invitations!!!

  3. If you do the zombie apocolypse you could do the invites on scraps of cloth (using red food coloring as blood splatter on the cloth)and use iron-on lettering for the party details

  4. You make throwing childrens parties sound FUN… you must be a witch!

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