The Ostrich Egg or What The Jeff am I meant to do with this thing? (How to cook an ostrich egg)
My cousin (much beloved) came to stay with me last year. During our trip to Bluewater, I noticed an OSTRICH EGG for sale.
Of course, I had to buy it – Do I look stupid?
An ostrich egg, you may or may not know, is one of the most tactile and amazing things evah! It was weird how attached Anna and I got to it.
If we felt a bit sad for some reason (maybe, like, if we flicked over the TV and saw a moment of Eastenders or something..) then we’d get the egg out and give it a kiss
It t’was a thing of wonder.
But the morning came…
And I knew that we had to either open the egg and be constructive, or let the egg become a rotting horror. Did you know that it would take about an hour and a half to hard boil an ostrich egg? And you would need to let it cool down for oh..I dunno about 6 hours before you could crack it open? Did you know that an ostrich egg is the equivalent of 24 hen’s eggs? Did you know that I am making this stuff up? Or am I?
And so, I called upon a man to come and open the egg.
And then we finally got through
I almost wet myself with excitement/fear/regret at this point.
I was innocent. I was unaware of what was about to happen.
The whole thing has gone horribly egg and now we’re all egg and help me, egg.
I whisked it
We were off to a party that night. I was determined to take the egg to the party. It might have been violently broken and whisked…but I was just about to make a fritatta out of the whole situation.
But I’m scared…
And so…I took the Ostrich Egg Frittata to the party…Got very drunk, fell in a bush and ended up with many bruises.
Touche Ostrich. Touche